DATE: 16 Dec 2007, 8:24 am / MOOD: Full of life



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DATE: 16 Dec 2007, 8:23 am / MOOD: Other



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DATE: 16 Dec 2007, 8:23 am / MOOD: Full of life



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DATE: 09 Nov 2007, 7:59 am / MOOD: Other

Improving Self Esteem with Affirmations and Therapeutic Relaxation Music

Author: Dr Harry Henshaw

 

 

Positive self-esteem is very important for our general health and wellness as human beings. Having positive self-esteem is also important for promoting any type of healing, whether physical, emotional or spiritual. Poor or low self-esteem on the other hand can be quite detrimental to our well-being and even our very existence. Negative self-esteem can create anxiety, stress, loneliness, depression, problems with relationships, seriously impair academic and job performance and also can generate an increased vulnerability to drug and alcohol abuse and dependency. On the other hand, a person with positive self-esteem tends to be more motivated in taking on and creating a life that he loves, living it powerfully and in this process be authentically related to others in his community. Having positive self-esteem appears to be necessary for having a happy and healthy existence regardless of who we are or what profession we are taking on in life.

 

What is self-esteem? We commonly think that self-esteem is merely about how we feel about ourselves at any particular moment. While seemingly existing in degrees, we tend to believe that we have positive or negative self-esteem and that we make that determination simply by how we feel about ourselves. However, within a conversation of Transformational Counseling, our feelings or emotions do not exist alone or have an independent existence. We do not just simply feel. Rather, for every feeling or emotion that we have, either positive or negative, there is a corresponding thought that we have about ourselves that generates the experience of self-esteem. Whether positive or negative, self-esteem is merely how our organism experiences the thoughts that the individual has about himself or herself. If a person has positive thoughts about himself he will experience positive or good self-esteem. On the other hand, if the individual has negative thoughts about who he thinks he is then he will experience poor or negative self-esteem. Therefore, to truly understand what self-esteem is all about and more importantly to be able to alter it when necessary for ones wellness or healing, we must first get it that self-esteem is really about our thinking, and more specifically about the thoughts that we develop or create about ourselves. The thoughts or beliefs that we have about ourselves are crucial in that they determine or create the structure of our experience of self-esteem and the various emotions associated with it.

We also tend to think of our self-esteem as being something that is shaped by the events that take place in our life, particularly those from our past. We tend to believe that who we think we are and how we feel about ourselves is merely the product, effect or caused by the experiences that we have had in the past, that we are who we are by virtue of what has happened to us as human beings. More specifically, we tend to think that the cause in the matter of who we think we are and our self-esteem is due to circumstance, situation or others, people, places and things. We do not tend to think that our self-esteem is something we actually developed or created. Within the work of transformation, it is not the past, circumstance, situation or others, that determines our underlying self-image and corresponding self-esteem. We created our thoughts and with it our emotions from the meaning that we gave to the events that took place in our life, especially at an early age. As meaning making machines we give meaning to everything in our life including and most importantly to ourselves. At an early age the meaning that we give an event tends to be made out to be all about us. While events do happen it is not the events that are important but rather the meaning that we give them and especially how we made it out to be about our identity.

Given the fact that our thoughts determine our feelings or emotions and equally important that we are truly responsible for their creation, to change or transform our self-esteem, how we tend to feel about ourselves, amounts to us altering how we see or conceive of ourselves in the world in the now and this work is our responsibility alone. It is our self-image, how we define ourselves as an individual in the world in the present, that determines our experience of self-esteem and it is this that we are truly responsible for creating and equally responsible for transforming. When we alter or transform our definition of ourselves in the present we change how we feel about ourselves and with it our experience of reality and life in general. If we do not get it that we are responsible for what we think about ourselves and that we are the real author of our self-image and self-esteem we will continue to blame something or some body, remain powerless and stuck in life. The question of how to actually go about altering or improving an individual’s self-esteem is one that has been debated for many years by professionals both in the mental health and addiction arenas.

Self-esteem can be improved or transformed in several ways. One way to improve ones self-esteem is to do the work of transformation as outlined in my articles, Transformational Counseling and The Conversation of Transformation. To improve ones self-esteem in this manner is to become present to ones self limiting belief, that which has stopped us in life and in the process create new possibilities for oneself, a new self-image from which to begin to live life into. Another way to improve an individual’s self-esteem is through the use of positive affirmations. Given that the basis of self-esteem is the thoughts that a person has about himself, an individual with poor or negative self-esteem is believing negative thoughts or ideas about who he thinks he is. The individual may think, for example, that he is “worthless” or “not good enough” and as a result will tend to experience poor or negative self-esteem. Within the work of transformation and Transformational Counseling, the thought that is at the basis or core of our self-talk is defined as a person’s Self Limiting Belief, the fundamental or core belief about who we think we are. Unless this core thought or belief that a person has about himself is changed or transformed he will continue to experience a poor or negative self-esteem and as a result of this negative thought pattern create or generate life experiences that will match and validate what they think about themselves. Given such a cognitive and emotional situation life will continue to appear as it has in the past and ones future will merely be the probable almost certain future.

Utilizing positive affirmations can be a very powerful tool for transforming what a person thinks about himself and as a result improve the individual’s self-esteem. Consistent use of positive affirmations will transform the negative beliefs about who a person thinks he is into positive ones, will begin to alter the basis and structure of his self talk or inner voice and produce a transformation from poor self-esteem to positive self-esteem. While utilized in a various ways, working with positive affirmations will be more effective when delivered through or combined with therapeutic relaxation music. What therapeutic relaxation music does to enhance the effect of positive affirmations is to create a very relaxed audio environment for the individual to become even more open or suggestive to the language of positive affirmations. When therapeutic relaxation music is combined with binaural audio tones the audio space that is created for the delivery of positive affirmations is even more relaxing and as a result very powerful. In addition to utilizing a unique type of therapeutic relaxation music, the infusion of either theta or alpha binaural tones is crucial for the success of this type of intervention. When therapeutic relaxation music and binaural audio tones are combined in this fashion the individual will experience a very deep state of relaxation and as a result be more open to the reception and eventual acceptance of the positive affirmations.

The key to the effective use of positive affirmation in this or any other type of intervention is consistency. The self-image and the negative thoughts about who a person thinks he is that generates his experience of poor or negative self-esteem is well established in the his belief system. In many cases the development of a negative self-image took years to create and has been reinforced through repetitive behavioral validation. Once a person creates and then believes that a self-limiting belief is true he will continually act as if it is true. This seemingly fundamental belief will appear to the person as true and as a result will continually be acted upon and thereby be reinforced through ones behavior. Much of that person’s behavior will be to continually validate who he thinks he is. Ones behavior will always be directed at supporting, reinforcing and validating what the person believes is true about him. While necessary for ones well-being and health, such a transformation of ones self-image from being basically a negative one to one that is fundamentally positive does not happen instantly. As with the development of an individual’s negative self-image, the development of a more adequate belief about the true nature of the individual will necessitate consistent and repetitive work by the person. Basic to this process is that the individual must fully embrace his sense of complete responsibility for the development of his self-image and also for its transformation. To do otherwise will only leave the individual feeling powerless and unable to create the life that he or she truly desires and unless there is consistency and repetition such a transformation will simply not happen.

Enhancing My Self Esteem is an audio product that will effectively transform the very structure of an individual’s thought or belief pattern, the basic ideas and language structure that he uses to define who he thinks he is in the world. This product was designed specially to change the self-talk that a person experiences on a daily basis by changing the ideas or beliefs that the person has about himself, the very foundation or backdrop of his inner conversation. As our identity is merely language, change the language in a person’s mind and his life transforms. By listening to this product an individual has the opportunity to practice or repeat fifty positive affirmations that will empower them to alter their life. Within a conversation of Transformational Counseling, committing an affirmation to spoken word makes it so or real especially if it is done repeatedly. Listening to positive affirmations before sleep also allows the person’s mind to begin this restructuring or reprogramming process even while the individual sleeps by taking the words and language into their dream state. By consistently listening to and practicing the positive affirmations in this product the individual will have the opportunity to begin to redefine themselves, who they think they are in the world, from one that is negative to one that is positive and enhancing for their life. With the acceptance of the words and language of the positive affirmations will come an improved self-image and with it an experience of positive self esteem.

I am currently using Enhancing My Self Esteem with all the clients that I counsel at the Holistic Addiction Treatment Program in North Miami Beach, Florida. All of the clients that I have worked with who are experiencing a drug and/or alcohol dependency problem also have very low self-esteem. My clients tend to be very depressed and unmotivated in many if not most of the various domains of their life, including and especially with their recovery. When given to my clients as homework, consistent use of Enhancing My Self Esteem alters how they think and improves how they feel about themselves. With an improved self-image and enhanced self-esteem my clients become more motivated in their life and especially with their recovery. If a person continues to experience low self-esteem and there is no intervention to disrupt the underlying cognitive process taking on improving their life and working the 12 Step Program will be meaningless and eventually given up completely as so many other things have been in the past. It is my belief that not altering or transforming the fundamental structure of ones self-image accounts for the great percentage of individuals who begin recovery and eventually relapse. The work that is essential to successful recovery is for the individual to be able to redefine who he thinks he is, to alter his self-image, the very foundation of his experience of self-esteem and life. Who the individual believes he is will determine what he does and how he will be in and appear to others and the world.

Harry Henshaw, Ed.D., LMHC http://www.enhancedhealing.com

Dr Harry Henshaw is in private practice in North Miami Beach, Florida. www.enhancedhealing.com

 

 

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DATE: 03 Nov 2007, 9:28 am / MOOD: Happy

How I Became a Positive Person

Author: Vivek Ray

 

 

Everybody has a story to share. So, have I. If reading my story inspires just one person in this world, I think my purpose will be solved. I was not always a positive person. I suffered from a griping sense of discontent. I was unable to derive satisfaction from my relationships. Though I had a number of acquaintances, I had very few friends. I was unable to use my talents and skills optimally. A non-believer, I never used to pray and had no faith. Of course I was spiritually bankrupt. To top it all, I had suffered heavy losses in a business venture, and now I was financially bankrupt as well. I felt so depressed and gloomy that I could light up a room simply by leaving it. I had lost my self-image, confidence, and hope. In other words I was negativity personified.

 

Playing the blame game was my favorite pastime. I blamed my circumstances, my parents, my school, my wife, even my year old daughter (as if an infant could have caused my failure). Actually, I blamed everyone, other than myself, the person who was really to be blamed.

Thank God, I always loved reading. And it was through printed words that I saw light. I read a story about a small child who was disturbing his father who was trying to work. The father tears up a world map and gives to the child to put it together, thinking that it will keep him occupied for a long time. Now, there was a picture of a man behind the map. The child could put the man together in just a few minutes. But the map behind was right too. I realized that if I put the man I am right, my world will become right as well. And that my dear friend, was the turning point.

The first thing that I changed was my reading habit. Earlier I was reading a lot of fiction. I changed that to reading Positive Mental Attitude books. I started associating with Zig Ziglar, Dale Carnegie, Dr. Shad Hamstead, Dr. Steve Price and so many other positive people through their wonderful books. I read about dreams, faith, goals, positive attitude, relationships, and self- image. I was also listening to recording by powerful speakers. And I realized that everyone has problems and challenges in life. But it is the way we respond to it that all matters. It is either, we react to a situation (negatively) or respond (positively) to it and that makes the difference in the result we produce.

This very powerful association has already started changing something inside me. I had started seeing things in a different perspective. Now I knew that the situation I am in was bad, but not hopeless. A wonderful book “All things are possible through prayer,” by Charles L. Allen changed my life for ever. I learned how to pray, and I prayed for the first time in my life. And you know what; it was answered in just ten minutes. That was the beginning of a new chapter in my life, one that was filled with faith. I had begun appreciating this beautiful creation that we so often take for guaranteed. I could now feel the hand of God working in my life. Everything around me now inspired me. It is not that things had changed for me, but what had changed was the way I looked at them.

One more thing that I changed was that I started choosing my association more carefully. I started visiting inspirational seminars and made friends with positive people. I purposely started keeping away from people who could have negative effect in my life. I became selective with the programs I saw on television or the movies I saw. If I see negativity being glamorized in any of the programs, I would simply leave the room. I was protecting my mind from negatives.

It was as if my mind was getting reprogrammed. As my spiritual account filled up, my self-image improved. I started taking responsibility of my self. Now when I spoke the words that came out were positive. I was feeling happy. Not because the circumstances were happy one, but because I felt more in peace with myself. Since, now I was accepting myself more, I could accept people more naturally. Obviously, the relationships improved. Now, I liked people and people liked me. It was as if I was living in a brand new world.

As I kept on growing from inside, I saw the situations outside changing. Since I was taking responsibility of my actions and was moving in faith, I started doing better in my career. I won’t say that it was always a smooth journey ever since. There were a lot of things that did not went well, or the way I had them planed. But, with my new positive outlook and a faith that was stronger than steel, I could see opportunity in every setback. Today, I have got back much more than what I had lost earlier in material things as well as the things that money can not buy.

Today, I thank God for giving all the challenges in past. It was the extremely unbearable situation of being financially bankrupt that got me changing. Today, I know that if God gives me more challenges it will be to strengthen my shoulder to bear the burden of greater responsibilities and blessings.

Thank you God for blessing me and my family! God, please work in the life of this reader the way you worked in my life…..

Vivek Ray is a Success trainer, Motivator and Inspirational speaker. In order to take control of your life and step by step guidance for success visit his free self improvement and mentorship portal www.success-attitude.com. You can also email him to seek personal guidance, and subscribe to a free inspirational newsletter on this site.

This story was brought to you by 2 Ladies HBB.

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DATE: 03 Nov 2007, 9:27 am / MOOD: Happy

Don't Ask and You'll Only Get the Scraps

Author: James Delrojo

 

 

I am sure that you are familiar with the advice of ask and you shall receive. But do you realize that the saying also implies that if you don't ask then you will only get what pot luck has to offer.

 

A lot of people feel uncomfortable about asking for something for themselves. They say things like "I don't want to sell myself. If it is meant to happen then it will." Guess what? Nothing is "meant" to happen. Either you make it happen or you bob along like a cork lost on the ocean.

Your life is not a predetermined event planned by some higher power. If it was then there would be no point in living. You would have no choice over your life and the whole thing would be dead boring.

Life is an opportunity. You live in a world where virtually anything is possible for you but you have to decide what you want that "anything" to be for you. You are sailing the ocean of life but you have to plot the course.

What is it that you really want to do? What would really make you happy and give you a sense of personal fulfillment? Have the faith that there is something special in life for you and then have the courage to look for it.

You have all the ability you need to do whatever you want to do in this life. There are so many possibilities but in order to see them you have to step outside of normal day to day existence and see all the exciting opportunities around you.

The world is a huge place. You can live where ever you want, yet most people end up living their whole life in the town, city, or area in which they where born. If that sounds like you then how do you know that you are in the right place for you? You have to get out and explore other possibilities and find a place where you can really be yourself and do what ever it is that you really want to do.

How long is it since you put some time aside just to work out what you want out of life? Not what someone else wants for you but what you really want for yourself. Why not sit down today with a piece of paper and a pen and write down your answers to this question; if I could do anything in the world, without having to worry about earning money or pleasing others, what would I choose to do?

Let your head go. Write anything and everything that comes into your mind. Write without judging. Just let it flow and see what comes out. If you do this you may surprise yourself with what you discover.

Accept that you won't necessarily get the best answer for you the first time you do this. The way to find your path is to do this exercise every day for a week, or a fortnight, or even a month if that's what it takes. Each time you do it you will find it easier to step outside of expectations and limitations. Each time you do it will be easier for you to get in touch with the "real you" that has been hiding inside.

Finding the right answers starts with asking the right questions. Once you have thought of something to do with your life that really feels right to you then the next stage is to keep asking the question; how can I make this a reality? If you do this then sooner or later you will get the right answer.

James Delrojo would like to help you by giving you his ebook "Unleash the Success Power of Your Mind" (valued at $27) completely FREE. Go to http://www.yoursuccessmind.com/

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DATE: 03 Nov 2007, 9:25 am / MOOD: In love

17 Words to Remember

Author: feelingflirty

 

 

I was talking with Lynn yesterday, she’s a friend of mine who’s a psychologist and we were discussing a mutual friend of ours who always seems to be in one dilemma after another. I started out saying how sad it made me feel when I thought about all her problems and Lynn told me I was foolish. I was a bit taken aback at first because I thought she was cold and heartless and then she said something I hope I always remember — these 17 words she told me…

 

“For things to change, you must get a picture of what you want them to change to.”

I let the words sink in for a few minutes and then realized how right she was. Our friend focuses all the time on what has happened to her, she’s always a victim because she can only see herself as a victim. So I thought about those 17 words in the context of dating and relationships and I think she might be on to something there too. If you see yourself as single and dateless, why not try changing your focus. See yourself as someone desirable who hasn’t found the right one.. yet!

Maureen is the author of the book how to win the dating game, “Do you know how to get lucky online?” She does. She didn't always know. It took her several years of watching how other people got lucky and now you can learn it for yourself. You can also visit also her blog Feeling Flirty?Get a Date!, autumnal confessions and Sexy Advice by Maureen. You can also visit the site www.howtowinthedatinggame.com for her book. www.feelingflirty.com

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DATE: 01 Nov 2007, 11:55 am / MOOD: Other

A Digital Audio Receiver Uses Modern Technology

Author: Richard Jones

Digital audio receivers are a fabulous piece of equipments for any audio enthusiast, fan of music or gadget fanatic. Move that music sitting on your computer into the rest of your home.

You don't want to be tied down to your pc just so you can listen to your favourite music. Also, those PC speakers don't really do it justice if you have a hi-fi setup in your home. A digital audio receiver is an ideal solution for getting that music collection off your PC into the household via a quality piece of audio equipment.

It doesn't matter how you got that music onto your home computer, the fact is that downloading music onto them has become very popular in recent times. Digital audio receivers allow you to transfer that beloved collection of music into the home where it can be enjoyed by everyone.

Digital audio receivers present a number of methods and ways you can connect via your home audio network, but ultimately they all do the same thing. So whether it's a physical connection such as a cable or a hub, you can soon get up and running.

A lot of the digital audio receivers available to consumers today require that you load up some software onto your computer. This acts as a server and facilitates access by your digital audio receiver to your present music collection you have stored on your PC. Digital audio receivers reference this software so you can choose which music tracks you want to fire up.

Upon track selection the digital audio receiver software selects the audio and then passes it over to the digital audio receiver. This is otherwise known as streaming. Despite the fact that the audio has to be transferred across the network setup, it's fast with no noticeable delays.

Apart from the obvious benefit of having all of your music available from your hi-fi, the one piece of equipment made for listening to music properly in your home, there are other side-benefits. You can see the details of what you're listening to, such as track name, artist, album title. All of your music is centralized and on the same medium, so no more swapping CDs or being forced to listen to a whole album because you don't want to go in and change the record.

It's also a good move for backups. Because all of your music is digital and stored in a single place, you can make backups at any time. MP3 encoding means you can fit hundreds of tracks on a single CD, thousands onto a DVD and if you have a really really big collection, a backup hard drive will set you back around 50 dollars or less if you shop around.

Visit us and find more tips and pointers on Digital Radio Receivers and audio at Radio Receivers

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DATE: 01 Nov 2007, 11:53 am / MOOD: Full of life

Are You Interested in Saving
Over $1200 On Your Golf Clubs?

Author: Kevin T. Fairbanks

At the 2007 Wyndham Golf Championship, Brand Snedeker won. He recorded a final 18 holes in 63. He used a TaylorMade r7 golf driver. Perhaps you are thinking, I could shoot a 63 if I had a TaylorMade r7 golf driver in my bag.

After you realize that no matter what set of golf clubs you have in your bag, you are not going to shoot a 63. OK, maybe on the front nine. You will come to the realization that your golf clubs are a great place to save a load of cash! Especially considering that Brandt probably didn't have to pay for his clubs.

Check what Brandt Snedeker has in his golf bag and how much those name brand golf clubs cost. $1809.00 is the grand total, if you were to buy those name brand golf clubs that are in Brandt's golf bag. Perhaps you have that kind of cash to lay down for a brand new set of brand name golf clubs. If you don't, then you are in luck as there is a different route to take.

Look at the knockoff golf club alternatives. Their total $535.00 for essentially the same golf clubs. That would be a savings of $1278.00. Now that kind of savings for knockoff golf clubs would buy a lot of rounds of golf instead of paying the premium price for name brand golf clubs.

So, you think that the name brand golf clubs perform better? That would be a valid argument if you were one of the top golfers in the world. You probably are not. If you cannot tell the difference between the name brand golf clubs and the discount golf clubs, why not save over $1200.00 to be like Brandt Snedeker?

Another argument that does not seem to hold water is that the name brand golf clubs are built to your specifications. This is definitely a good thing, but clone golf clubs can be just as easily built to your specifications for less. Any golf club can be built to your specification, no matter the name on the golf club. You should definitely have your golf clubs built to your specifications. Why not save the money and get more golf balls?

But what about the guarantee that comes with that name brand set of golf clubs? Well, guess what! Knockoff golf clubs can be obtained with a 30-day play guarantee. If you don't like the clubs after playing them for 30-days, return them. How many name brand golf clubs will let you do that? You can't lose!

Check out the prices for the name brand golf clubs in Brandt Snedeker's golf bag and the clone golf club equivalent.

Golf Driver: TaylorMade r7 425 9.5 - $250.00 Power Max KC2 425 Ti with UST ProForce 65 shaft : Knockoff golf club driver equivalent - $120.50

3 Wood: Bridgestone 5 Tour Premium 14 - $150.00 Power Max KC2 Fairway : Knockoff golf wood equivalent - $49.00

Hybrid: TaylorMade Rescue mid 19 - $220.00 Power Max KC2 3 Hybrid : Knockoff hybrid golf club equivalent - $39.00

Iron Set: (3-PW)TaylorMade r7 TP - $800.00 Power Max KC2 with True Temper Dynamic Gold with Sensicore shaft : Clone golf iron set equivalent - $233.00

Wedge: (SW)Cleveland TA 588 54 - $110.00 SGS Black : Discount golf club wedge equivalent - $29.50

Wedge: (LW)Cleveland TA 588 58 - $110.00 SGS Black : Discount golf club wedge equivalent - $29.50

Putter: Odyssey White Hot XG Rossie - $169.00 Ecliptic Three Ball : Knockoff golf club putter equivalent - $34.50

Name brand golf clubs total: $1809.00, Clone golf clubs equivalent $535.00, a savings of $1274.00.

Golfers, make sure you check the knockoff golf clubs at http://www.GolfClubsHome.com and Collectible Golf Memorabilia at http://CollectibleSport.com

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DATE: 01 Nov 2007, 11:52 am / MOOD: In love

Different Ideas of What Love Means

Author: Alesandrei Fillinine

 

Love is a universal feeling among men and women. That being said, we each experience it in different ways. This is true for everyone as these quotes from well-known individuals reveals.

Who knows love? Everyone does. Either by its absence or presence. Just like you and me, many philosophers, scientists and, well, everyone has philosophized on it at one point or another. Here are the views of some well-known historical figures that may ring true to you.

Ralph Waldo Emerson - Thou art to me a delicious torment.

Lord Byron - Hearts will break - yet brokenly, live on.

Elizabeth Ashley - In a great romance, each person plays a part the other really likes.

Albert Camus - I know of only one duty, and that is to love.

Henry Ward Beecher - I never knew how to worship until I knew how to love.

Ayn Rand - If one doesn't respect oneself one can have neither love nor respect for others.

Oscar Wilde - Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.

Winnie the Pooh - If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.

Mozart - Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius.

Jeanne Moreau - Age does not protect you from love, but love to some extent protects you from age.

Leo Buscaglia - Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life.

Antoine de Saint-Exupery - Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.

Socrates - The hottest love has the coldest end.

Mark Twain - Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.

Rabindranath Tagore - I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times, in life after life, in age after age forever.

Unknown - Love is like playing the piano. First you must learn to play by the rules, then you must forget the rules and play from your heart.

Voltaire - Love is a canvas furnished by Nature and embroidered by imagination.

As you can see, love is a concept that crosses all lines whether they be nations, areas of belief and even jobs. Love is out there. You just need to go give it a chance.

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