DATE: 29 Jan 2008, 7:55 am / MOOD: Other

16 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.  3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

7. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

8. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

9. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

10. Sing Along At The Opera.

11. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.

12. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

13. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"

14. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Car Park,   Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

15. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

16. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity.......

Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile.

Its Called therapy  

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DATE: 28 Jan 2008, 10:14 am / MOOD: Other

The love story of Ralph and Edna.

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

 

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool. Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.

 

When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'

Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon
can I go home?'

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